Julie Beth is half of Friday Chick Blogging. You can read more of her at It's an Outrage.

Can't they ever just can it?

Why is it that the teaming hoards of White House pack journalists seem to relish the days the president's spokesman hands them an easy story all wrapped up in pretty paper with ribbons? I think it's probably because they are a bunch of overworked but mostly lazy reporters. So they grab the gift, unwrap it, tediously pull out all the tissue paper and styrofoam peanuts, gush all over it for as long as the news cycle can bear and stop just before they start looking like complete morons.



That is exactly what happened this week when Sen. John Kerry, a decorated veteran who is not running for any office, uttered his immortal insult to U.S. troops. By the time White House press secretary Tony Snow took a softball question from a Fox News reporter, Kerry's remarks had already been reported in local newspapers, which are no doubt members of The Associated Press.

Yet White House reporters, who also work for organizations that are members of The Associated Press, didn't think it was a story until Snow started talking about it the next day. Then it metamorphosed into the lead story on nearly every national news broadcast, in most national papers and was the top story for quite a while on The New York Times' Web site.

I don't care if Karl Rove himself says young people might have to join the Army if they don't study. You will never convince me the story deserves top billing for nearly two news cycles. You will never convince me it deserves any significant attention at all. The proof is on the Times' site today, where the outrage that is John Kerry has suddenly fallen off the map. Why? Well, the federal government accidentally posted instructions on how to make a nuclear bomb on this very Internet. And on Tuesday, every state in the union is having a little something called Election Day. Also, it turns out they now have a much juicier story to latch onto involving sex, drugs and hypocrisy — too bad Snow couldn't hand a gift like that to the press corps.

Incidentally, the only mention of The Great Kerry Flap of 2006 on the Times' front today are letters in response to its editorial about it and a column by Thomas Friedman (which is unfortunately available only through TimesSelect) pointing out that making John Kerry's insult important is itself an insult:

Every time you hear Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney lash out against Mr. Kerry, I hope you will say to yourself, "They must think I'm stupid." Because they surely do...

Everyone says that Karl Rove is a genius. Yeah, right. So are cigarette companies. They get you to buy cigarettes even though we know they cause cancer. That is the kind of genius Karl Rove is. He is not a man who has designed a strategy to reunite our country around an agenda of renewal for the 21st century — to bring out the best in us. His "genius" is taking some irrelevant aside by John Kerry and twisting it to bring out the worst in us, so you will ignore the mess that the Bush team has visited on this country.

And Karl Rove has succeeded at that in the past because he was sure that he could sell just enough Bush cigarettes, even though people knew they caused cancer. Please, please, for our country's health, prove him wrong this time."

I'm pretty sure Friedman would also love to tell White House reporters, their editors and producers to just can it.

I'm getting a new computer. This makes me happy.

My computer hates me.  

Ordering a computer is a pretty crazy look at the modern world. After I place my order online, the computer gets picked up by FedEx in Shanghai, China. They then ship it to Anchorage, Alaska (taking the great circle route), where it gets held up a bit in customs. (And probably searched for child porn.) It then goes to a FedEx hub in Indianapolis, where it is put on a truck and quickly delivered to me in Chicago. Start to finish, the whole process takes about 4-5 days tops. And I can monitor each step on the FedEx Web site. Pretty cool.

Why the new computer (other than sheer embarrassment at being seen in public with the old one)? You may recall that I had to leave my job because I refused to take a drug test based on my right to privacy and the desire to maintain my impressive coke habit. (That there's a joke, all you future employers and girlfriends.)

Well, it turned out that my company couldn't really afford to let me leave, because their Web sites would have blown up. On one hand, that would have been fun to watch. But on the other hand, they're giving me lots of money. To work from home. For only 40 hours a week. Without taking a drug test.

Lesson: Stand up for your principles and you will be rewarded financially. And get to buy a tax-deductible computer.

Anyways, that (aside from my cat being kidnapped) is why I haven't been around here much recently. Seems like I should have a lot more free time now, but I've discovered that I kind of suck at "time management" and "not fucking around all the time." Plus, this get-paid-more-to-work-less gig isn't going to last forever, so I'm trying to start up my own Web business. I don't want to get rich, I just want to go the Ron Livingston route: sit on my ass and do nothing, or at least only as much as I absolutely need to.

Which isn't exactly the most ambitious plan ever, but will certainly leave more time for blogging. So, we all win.

In the meantime, since neither Gordon nor I seem capable of posting, you should check out an interesting discussion going on in the comments of his last post. Also, Friday chick blogger Julie Beth has been on a tear recently. Go read her at It's An Outrage.