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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Business trip: Let's debrief


I'm not a corporate type. I do not like to speak about teamwork - even though I truly enjoy working with people and sharing goals. I rarely enjoy "icebreakers" or "team-building exercises" and I wince when people say "put that idea in the parking lot" when someone gets off topic during a discussion.

Here's what I learned at my two-day, 14-hour training:
  1. PowerPoint is supposed to be an aid to your lecture. You do not need to read aloud word-for-word what's on the screen because not only can I read that myself but it's also in front of me on the Power Point presentation print-out you handed out. (Perhaps I did not just learn this, exactly. However, the anger I felt at each slowly-passing slide really kept me from enjoying my deep breaths.)
  2. According to the Personal Interaction Quiz I am a yellow. This means I am a talker. Yellows are expressive, outgoing, friendship-oriented and highly creative, according to the Power Point. After learning about my yellow status I felt so creative that I tried to take notes with my non-dominant hand, made a list of what I will wear to work this week and doodled a very realistic picture of my best friend Julie.
  3. The Hyatt is very nice. I enjoyed Hyatt dinner, Hyatt coffee, Hyatt workout room and the extraordinary Hyatt bed.
  4. When in doubt, take notes. My swift note-taking made it seem like I was really learning - becoming part of the team and understanding those presentations. I'm such a fabulous fooler.
  5. I do not participate in role-plays. Ever.
  6. There is a difference between counseling and coaching. I'm not sure what, but I'm told that those are different.
  7. Finally, I've learned that a Mandasaurus can't be held down by corporate rules. I've got to be freer than this. I'm actually happy to say I'm feeling pretty damned inspired to look for something that will fill my days with less crap and more happiness. A yellow Mandasaurus can't be stuck in a such fake, PowerPoint filled world for long.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Power point, role playing and sharing a room with a stranger. Just shoot me!

Krae

Blogger Johnny5 said...

Boy, #1 has been killing presentations ever since the inception of PowerPoint. Not to say that I've never been guilty, but I certainly don't make it my M.O. the way some people do.

Anonymous JC said...

Power Point is the second worst technological development of the last twenty years, less damnable only than the mobile phone.

Mandasaurus, you have now experienced the phenomenon which I call "Teachers' Institute" - that is, team activities, role playing, and creating a map of the United States with string. I find it best to save your sick days for such occasions.

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Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.