Some words of wisdom from the extreme middle:

Democrats: stop turning global politics into a popularity contest. Though an America that’s loved has more potential power than an America that’s despised, you have to acknowledge that large populations will always dislike and blame us for reasons beyond our control. (We represent the status quo, and unhappy people hate the status quo.) America requires just enough popularity to retain authority in an increasingly democratic world—any less and we’re pariahs, any more and we’re suckers. That being said, we’re a long way from that minimal level of popularity.

Republicans: stop working religion where it doesn’t belong. Hundreds of years ago, a couple of heretics named Copernicus and Galileo dared to engage science free of religious intervention, and that seems to have worked out for everyone. Today, we need to follow that example by keeping creationism and “intelligent design” out of classrooms, by pursuing stem cell research like a first-world nation, and by acknowledging abortion as a proven way to reduce poverty and crime. Let the scientific Renaissance live on. Jesus will understand.

Democrats: Stop pushing for nationalized healthcare. Europe’s cushy healthcare structure is so expensive, it currently threatens to bring down entire economies when Baby Boomers start retiring in five years. So while a significant chunk of Americans can’t afford medical care, we need to approach this with our heads, not our hearts. That means baby steps: start by making preventative and critical care more available, then find a way to give insurance companies an incentive for adjusting prices and accommodating subsidies at the state and federal level. Our goals should be realistic—if we can’t get the healthcare we want for ourselves, let’s aim to get it for our grandchildren.

Republicans: stop blocking gay rights. Republicans may claim a history of defending civil rights, but a political party is defined by what it is, not what it was—and what you currently are is a party searching for a Constitutional Amendment that takes rights away from a specific group of people. At some point, you need to realize that gays are the new blacks, and they’ll eventually get the rights they deserve, so stop embarrassing yourselves and let this one take its course.

Democrats: stop thinking only with your hearts. The concept of “redistribution of wealth” is shortsighted, socialist and (to most red-blooded Americans) truly sinful. A government collects taxes with the permission of its citizens, and it does so with the understanding that it will use the money in a manner that best benefits the nation as a whole—at the very least, better than if those dollars were spent privately. Just remember: tax revenues and social programs are a means to an end, so don’t be surprised (or upset) if your dollar goes to pesticide research instead of the homeless.

Republicans: stop thinking only with your wallets. Adam Smith was dead-on when he said “it is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.” But that’s not to say that what’s best for your particular bank account is always best for America as a whole. Sometimes we should embrace that small extra tax or fee (within reason, of course) that may improve our aggregate social health or snowball into economic growth. Just realize that a true laissez-faire economy exists only in textbooks, and a helping hand doesn’t have to be associated with a bleeding heart.

Everyone: Start keeping an open mind. Generally speaking, the other side’s extremes are not much more evil or idiotic than your own—they just see the world through a different lens, emphasize different details and draw different conclusions. Most Americans want a country that is strong, smart and successful, but what that means and how to get there vary person to person, and sometimes even one person’s means and ends don’t line up. So let’s think before we make blanket accusations, avoid the name-calling and try to minimize selective reasoning. You’ll be doing yourself—and your party—a huge favor.