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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Give a hoot.

I'm tickled to say that I just moved to Chicago.

Chicago is great so far. Sure, I miss D.C. which is easy to get around and full of oddball fun happenings, but Chicago's pretty wonderful.

Today I took a stroll along Lake Michigan. The lake is blue and lovely. A long path winds along the shore past beaches, harbors and swimming holes. You can jog, bike, rollerblade, sail, swim, golf, shoot arrows, picnic, stroll and just about anything else along the lake. I love most of those activities so the lakefront is my kind of place. There is just one small problem with the lakefront: litter.

Who litters? Who are you? Show yourself!

I won't venture a guess (republicans?) about who is littering. But you litterbugs know who you are. You might not know this but littering makes you an asshole. If you leave bottles, shoes, cans, papers, wrappers, burritos, plastic bags, cigarette butts, containers, dog poop, or anything else lying about in public spaces you are an asshole. Please stop.

Personally, I'd love to see police officers patrolling the lakefront and ticketing people who litter. Buck says this isn't the police's place. That may be true. But if my broken-bottle-dodging skills fail me I might bow-and-arrow some litterbugs into the lake.
Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.