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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

You know what to do

VOTE!!!

I have absolutely no idea why Election Day isn't a national holiday. Hell, in Illinois we get Pulaski Day off so Polish people won't feel left out, but have to work the one day when time off would serve a purpose other than extra time for sleeping.

If you want to do more than just vote today, here's some ideas. If you want to know what's at stake in this election, read this. And finally, here's some voting music to get your toes tapping as you step on down to the polls:



Mandasaurus adds:

I love today. I love visiting school gymnasiums and asking old ladies for ballots and "I voted" stickers. This is the best day.

Here's why:
  • You get to be heard! And it's your right. Your workplace must give you time to do the deed! (According to Wildman Harrold — which is a law firm, not a crazy dude named Harrold, unfortunately.) Most states require employers to give you time off. And since you're reading a blog in the middle of the day chances are you wouldn't be missing much anyway.
    If you live in some states you can even tell your boss that he can be sent to jail if he doesn't let you go vote. I would love to do that, if I wasn't the boss at my work. (And, yes, I've already given many people time off to vote tomorrow.)
  • It's easy. And don't use that tired excuse about not knowing where to vote. Let me help you!
  • I know you and your silly reasons why you can't vote. Don't know enough? Read up. It's fast and easy.
  • Most of you get to vote for Congressional Representation (you know, Senators and Reps, Sharks and Jets). Residents of Washington, D.C. (including me) do not. We are taxed without representation. This is wrong. In fact, your representatives allegedly look out for our best interests. They don't do that. They look out for the best interests of the people who vote for them. Not D.C. residents. We're kinda screwed, although we do have awesome monuments. You should vote for us, please.
  • You get a sticker. The kids at my work are utterly in awe of stickers. You are too.
  • People who hurt America don't want you to vote.
  • When you go to your polling place you can be a lookout to make sure people aren't discriminated against. And you can stand up for them.
  • You will feel like a proud, important part of what America is all about. And that's exactly what a voter is. Thanks.
Happy Election Day, voters. You make us all proud.

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Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.