e•lec•tion [i-LEK-shun]—noun. A political enema.
(I’m sure this is affected by my being born outside the U.S., having only earned a vote after my parents waited in countless long lines for well over a decade.)
So I thought I’d channel my inner patriot by sharing this quote from Noah Webster who, back in 1781, beat the British twice—once on the battlefield and once in the library (his dictionary single-handedly spawned American English).
In the nascent years of the Union, Webster explained what he saw as the enlightened American mindset:
America sees the absurdities—she sees the kingdoms of Europe, disturbed by wrangling sectaries, or their commerce, population and improvements of every kind cramped and retarded, because the human mind like the body is fettered and bound fast by the chords of policy and superstition.The verdict is in: democracy rocks. So go vote already.
America laughs at their folly and shuns their errors. She founds her empire upon the idea of universal toleration. She admits all religions into her bosom. She secures the sacred rights of every individual. And (astonishing absurdity to Europeans!) she sees a thousand discordant opinions living in the strictest harmony.
It will finally raise her to a pitch of greatness and lustre, before which the glory of ancient Greece and Rome shall dwindle to a point, and the splendor of modern Empires fade into obscurity.
Yeah!!!