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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Out of the way!

JB West and I have promised you Chicky Fridays, and we keep our promises.

What good is my awesome pink bike helmet? This smart researcher figured out that cars give bikers more room when they're sans helmet. The researcher was also hit by a truck during his study.

I really wish cars would be more thoughtful. Let's look at the logic.
  1. Mandasaurus rides a bike.
  2. Bikes do not cause traffic. Rather bicycles negate traffic.
  3. Mandasaurus is making traffic better by riding her sweet bicycle.
  4. Also, Mandasaurus is not threatening your car's self-esteem. Mandasaurus is slow on her bike. She won't beat you anywhere.
So why, why, why don't you just let me by?

This message about my bicycling extends to the White House and its "security" staff. The White House has a lovely, wide drive for bikes, walkers, protesters and very secure vehicles. Occasionally, like on Sept. 11 or when a cool foreign friend is visiting, security guards shoo me away from the White House. Rude!

So, party people, watch out on the streets! Bicyclists are excellent. Bikes are good for the environment. Bikes improve traffic.

Bicyclists are occasionally cute, sassy and awesome. Unless you hit them with your stupid car.

1 Comments:

Blogger Chance-86 said...

I'm not trying to be a dick (mostly because I can do that without trying...), but really, as a motorist, I really hate most bicyclists. I am minding my own business, trying to get to work on time, and there is inevitably a bicycle that is cruising about 6 feet from the curb, making it virtually impossible to get around them without veering into oncoming traffic. Then, when I finally get around them, I get stopped at a stoplight which they will undoubtedly feel that they don't have to stop for. And then, when they decide to make a left-hand turn, they stick out their arm and just pull in front of me...as if my car can go from 30mph to a dead stop. I'm all for the exercise and the environmental aspects, but I truly am one of the dicks who think that bikes should have designated routes that they have to stay on. And, yes, I'm one of the dicks who firmly believe that bicyclists should be ticketed if they don't obey by the same rules that cars have to. No. REALLY!

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Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.