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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Friday, June 23, 2006

A Rick Santorum timeline

The junior senator from Pennsylvania is in the news again. Here's Rick, courtesy of Anonymous Liberal:
This is an incredibly — in my mind — significant finding. The idea that, as my colleagues have repeatedly said in this debate on the other side of the aisle, that there are no weapons of mass destruction, is in fact false.

We have found over 500 weapons of mass destruction. And in fact have found that there are additional weapons of mass — chemical weapons, still in the country, that need to be recovered.
Holy schnikees! We finally found them! That's big news. What do you have to say about that, Mr. Senior Defense Department Official?
"This does not reflect a capacity that was built up after 1991," the official said, adding the munitions "are not the WMDs this country and the rest of the world believed Iraq had, and not the WMDs for which this country went to war."
Errr... What about you, unnamed intelligence sources?
...the weapons were produced before the 1991 Gulf War and there is no evidence to date of chemical munitions manufactured since then. They said an assessment of the weapons concluded they are so degraded that they couldn't now be used as designed.
Whoops.

And this guy has a problem with gay people?For those of you who might not have followed his exploits, this is not exactly the first time Santorum has embarrassed himself. In tribute to little Ricky, here's a timeline of his greatest hits (tip of the hat to Santorum Exposed):

May 26, 2006: Santorum gets bitch-slapped by the Pittsburg Post-Gazette

In an editorial taking Santorum to task for his actions in the Pennsylvania senatorial campaign, the paper uses the phrase "He doesn't live here anymore" no fewer than four times. Seems Santorum has been basically living in Virginia for the past few years, which would seem to present a problem for someone seeking to represent the people of the Keystone State.

Read the editorial, it's pretty funny. But Rick makes it so easy.

April 20, 2006: Santorum the least popular senator

According to a SurveyUSA poll.

Aug. 4, 2005: Santorum flip-flops on intelligent design

Sounds reasonable:
I think I would probably tailor that a little more than what the president has suggested. ... I'm not comfortable with intelligent design being taught in the science classroom.
But wait, on Jan. 14 of the same year:
The Dover Area School District has taken a step in the right direction by engaging in the debate and attempting to teach the controversy of evolution.
Ah, yes, "teach the controversy". Sounds like a good idea. Complete bullshit, though. Hell, a few years before that, Santorum wasn't even bothering with the "teach the controversy" stuff. On March 14, 2002:
Therefore, intelligent design is a legitimate scientific theory that should be taught in science classes.

April 23, 2003: Ricky hits the big time

From an interview with the Associated Press:
SANTORUM: ...In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality —

AP REPORTER: I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out.
Now, you'd normally think that comparing homosexuality to getting it on with a border collie would be a good career move to someone courting the vote of the religious right. But Santorum drew the ire of syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, leading to a successful campaign to have a new term he developed become the No. 1 search result for Santorum:
santorum (san-TOR-UM) n.
1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.
2. Sen. Rick Santorum
Remind me never to piss off Dan Savage.

1 Comments:

Blogger Mandasaurus said...

I can't imagine why you'd ever piss off Dan Savage. He's a valiant supporter of rights for gay and straight people, and - whoa - thinks that relationships should be of the happy, fun, open sort.

Anytime you see a couple fighting on the train, yelling, crying, carrying on? Savage says: Dump the motherfucker already. Amen.

Santorum should be losing the race to keep his Senate seat in just a few months. It makes perfect sense that the people of the Wawa State don't want him to represent them - he doesn't live there. Like, at all.

Please, readers of smart blogs - read Dan Savage regularly on theonion.com. Promote your rights to get some, enjoy it and be healthy. Or not, that's fine too.

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