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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Time to break out the grill

Old GloryWhew, that was a close one. The summer must be getting away from me, because I almost missed one of my favorite holidays. That's right, it's flag burning time!

Every year around now, Congress tries to amend the Constitution to prohibit flag burning, and I like to celebrate by tossing Old Glory on the coals. Ah, the sweet stench of burning nylon — smells like freedom.

I'm going to especially enjoy my flag roasting this summer, because it looks like the amendment might actually pass the Senate this time. Who knows, by this time next year my favorite holiday could be illegal!

Anonymous Liberal thinks this might be the dumbest law ever, but I disagree. The Bill of Rights has never been amended in the 214 years since it was first ratified, and I think there's a lot of ways it could be improved. Take the Third Amendment, for example:
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Bor-ing. How about:
No Professional Team shall, in times of baseball, keep quartered on their Squad a player designated solely for hitting.
The Second needs to go, too. There are more important things than arms nowadays:
A well contented populace, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and watch Oprah, shall not be infringed.
What about you, got any suggested improvements to that musty old Bill of Rights?


Blogger Chance-86 said...

Now we're on to Flag burning, Buck? What Liberals won't do to prove their freedom! The flag is a symbol of our country and our freedom. If you hate our country to the point that you would like to destroy its most recognized symbol, then why not just move to Canada? Make no mistake, I don't think that flag-burning should be illegal. There are far too many ridiculous laws that are impossible to impose as it is. It's the respect and honor issue that bothers me. At times in my life, my Mother royally pissed me off. I had the ability to make some very loud protesting statement, you know...something like burning all of her clothes or telling the world that I was embarrassed to be from the same state...but I didn't. I didn't for one particular reason...ok, 2 if you count the fact that my Mom is a pretty big and scary bitch...but the reason to which I speak is Respect. One of the greatest freedoms that we have in this country is the freedom to NOT do everything that we have the right to do. Believe it or not, refraining from a right can make a very loud statement. I just fail to see the purpose of burning Old Glory for the sake of, what? Rebellion? Individuality? An I'll-show-them attitude? Are you one of those dumb-asses that started smoking to prove something? All that proved was that you could give yourself Cancer all for the painfully low price of 6 bucks a pack...oh yeah, and smell funky in the process. Burning a flag makes you look no more cool than the moronic 13 year-old smoking across the street from the school. C'mon. If you want to protest and make a statement, find something better.

Blogger Buck B. said...

I love Wikipedia:

Irony is best known as a figure of speech (more precisely called verbal irony) in which there is a gap or incongruity between what a speaker or a writer says, and what is understood.

Blogger Chance-86 said...

OH!!!! I get it're against GRILLING, not flag-burning! *slaps forehead* Sometimes I can be such an air-head!

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Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.