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America vs. The World

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Waiting for success

Our visionary president had some things to say about world perception of Israel's recent military adventure:
President Bush acknowledged Friday that it could take time for the people of Lebanon and the world to view the war between Israel and Hezbollah as a loss for the militant group.

"The first reaction of course of Hezbollah and its supporters is to declare victory. I guess I would have done the same thing if I were them," Bush said after a meeting with his economic advisers.

"Sometimes it takes people awhile to come to the sober realization of what forces create stability and what don't," he said. "Hezbollah is a force of instability."
Just like history is going to vindicate the Iraq war, right? No wonder the Bush administration doesn't ever admit mistakes or punish anyone for screwing up — it's impossible to know if someone's failed until years later!

I'm going to start using this logic a lot more in my personal life.

BOSS: You didn't get the proposal in on time and we lost the client.
ME: But, you see, I feel this will ultimately be in the best interest of our firm. We may get a better client in place of the one we lost, who pays more for less work. Or we might get an even better client next year, who replaces the one who replaces the one we lost. We really can't make a determination of whether it was a mistake to not do the proposal for at least five to six years.

GIRL: You cheated on me. You suck.
ME: Actually, I did this for the sake of our relationship. The screaming fight and short-term breakup this induces will ultimately be for the best. We'll have great makeup sex, and it will bring us closer together. You won't think I suck two months from now.

Man, this is fun! I think I'm going to go tell my brother that time I made him drink pee was ultimately responsible for his guitar-playing ability.


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Jeff Goldstein is a wanker.